Surviving Mom
A truly broken heart
I couldn’t breathe without it hurting my chest so I breathed in just enough to avoid the pain in my lungs. I thought my heart had been broken before…over losing friends, and so called boyfriends. I thought my heart had been broken over disappointments and dreams that seemed over and wasted opportunities. I’d said goodbye to a grandparent or two and cried my eyes dry but when I had to say goodbye to my Mom, I wasn’t prepared for the ache her absence would leave. I thought my heart had been broken before, and maybe it was, but nothing even came close to this.
If you are a member of that club as well, I want to wrap my arms around you and your heart for just a moment. I want to ask you to practice authenticity, especially now. You’ll have enough peer pressure, thoughtless comments, and unkind people saying the worst things ever to you, and you’ll get to practice broken hearted forgiveness over and over again.
Please know, it is ok to be angry, and sad..and mad and hurt and impatient. The worst thing ever is to pretend you are ok. I tried that, and it was a miserable fail because it was not true at all.
Opening up around inauthentic people can also be disastrous for a broken heart. It is important to find ‘your people’! People that welcome and care for who you are, especially now. Authentic people! They love and celebrate you. They are quick to forgive both your willful and even reckless errors. These are the people you’ll want to stay close to. And don’t worry, sometimes finding ‘your people’ can be a bit of trial and error. There are family members and friends who are not ‘your people’, not now anyway. You’ll find that out quickly, so don’t worry if you make a few mistakes and find your tender heart in the wrong hands. You will recover dear one, from them and from all of this too.
I’ve heard it said “where God puts a period, don’t ask a question.” Well I disagree a bit. I invite you to be authentic in your silence, your prayers and your questions with God.
I’ve had no words for God somedays. I’ve been so hurt that I didn’t want to talk to God at all.
I think it’s the price we pay for loving someone very much.
But I’ve been reminded, often, that I can trust God’ wisdom, God’s favor and His love, even when I cannot explain everything. If its left up to me I can’t explain a lot of things and that never stopped me before. I’ve decided I’m not going to let that stop me now when God has made such wonderful promises. He loves Us! He loves Me! He loves YOU! And He loves our Moms.
His love is Authentic! Stay close to Him!
Especially Now!
Tracei Lee