Grief & Loss Recovery

Every loss is unique as each child is unique. A change in behavior is a common response to grief and loss, which may include the following symptoms: 

​

• Afraid to try new things

• Drug or alcohol misuse, abuse, or addition

• Aggressive behaviors, including hitting, kicking, or biting

• Difficulty adjusting to social situations or new situations

• Difficulty following directions or expectations

• Disclosure of suicidal thoughts

• Engaging in self harm practices like cutting or burning

• Extreme weight loss or gain

• Frequent or constant worry or anxiety

• Noticeable or sudden loss of appetite

• Physical complaints despite being checked by a physician

• Recurring nightmares, night terrors, or difficulty sleeping

• Refuse to attend school

• Struggling to focus or complete tasks in school

• Stomachaches

• Social withdrawal

Misinformation on the topic of grief:

​

• Be strong. Usually the Griever is asked to be strong for others. "You have to be strong for your [wife]" or "Be strong for your children."

• Replace the loss. This is common with pet loss or the end of a romantic relationship. "On Tuesday we'll get you a new dog" or "There are plenty of fish in the sea. You just have to get out there and date again." Most likely there has been no action taken to grieve over the loss of the pet or relationship, just an attempt at not feelin the emotions attached to the loss.

• Keep busy. "If I just keep busy then I won't have time to think about the loss." This one is sad because some people spend their whole lives with this mentality and never get a chance to grieve and complete what was unfinished with the particular loss.

How do I know if I or someone I know is incomplete with loss?

​

• If you are unwilling to think about or talk about someone who has died, or express feelings about any other losses.

• If fond memories turn painful, you may be experiencing unresolved Grief.

• If you want to talk only about the positive aspects of the relationship, you may be incomplete.

• Wanting to talk about only the negative aspects of the relationship, might be unresolved grief.

• Unresolved Grief may be at the root of any fear associated with thoughts or feelings about a relationship.

The impact of unresolved grief in society:

​

• 13 million Grievers annually due to death. There are 2.6 million deaths per year in the United States with an average of five Grievers per death. (According to US Census Bureau)

• 2.5 million Grievers per year due to divorce. This does not include the children grieving this significant loss. (A compilation of US statistical agencies).

• 15.6 Million Grievers per year due to a romantic breakup.

• A study of 95,647 persons who lost a spouse found that the overall death rate for the surviving spouse doubled in the first week following the loss.

• Unresolved grief is everywhere. Thousands of mental health professionals  have found that although their clients come with some other presenting issue, almost all of them have unresolved Grief as the underlying problem.

• An incomplete past may doom the future. We find that many people alter their life choices after a series of unresolved losses. This is done to protect themselves from further heartbreak. Usually tis just translates to living a guarded life and a reluctance to participate fully in relationships or new endeavors.

​