Grief & Loss Recovery

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What is Grief?
  • Grief is the normal and natural reaction to significant emotional loss of any kind. 

  • Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of, or change in, a familiar pattern of behavior.

  • Grief is the feeling of reaching out for someone who has always been there, only to find when you need them again, they are no longer there.

  • Changes in sleeping and/or eating

  • Changes in routine

  • Difficulty concentrating

  • Excessive worry or panic

  • Emotional exhaustion

  • Frequent crying

  • Outbursts of anger

  • Overuse of alcohol, drugs, or other substances

  • Physical and/or emotional isolation

  • Preoccupation with the loss

  • Reduced energy or motivation

  • Waves of emotion

The Grief Recovery Method

A heart-centered, emotion focused and action-oriented, powerful, directed approach to healing from life's deepest heartbreaks.  Recovering from a significant emotional loss is not an easy task. Taking the actions that lead to recovery will require attention, open-mindedness, willingness, and courage.

  • Recovery from loss is achieved by a series of small and correct choices made by the Griever.

  • Recovery means feeling better.

  • Recovery is finding new meaning for living, without the fear of being hurt again.

  • Recovery is being able to enjoy fond memories without having them turn painful.

  • Recovery is acknowledging that it is perfectly all right to feel sad from time to time and to talk about those feelings no matter how those around you react.

  • Recovery means acquiring the skills that allows griever to deal with loss directly.

Types of Loss:
  • Death

  • Divorce

  • Financial Loss or Change

  • Getting Married

  • Graduation

  • Having a Baby

  • Infertility

  • Job Loss or Change

  • Loss of Trust, Safety, or Control

  • Loss of Hopes, Dreams, or Expectations

  • Loss of Pregnancy (ie. Miscarriage; Termination

  • Loss of Faith

  • Loss of Meaning or Purpose

  • Loss of Health, Illness, Injury, or Paralysis

  • Loss of Freedom

  • Loss of Childhood

  • Romantic Break-up

  • Moving

  • Pet Loss

  • Pregnancy

  • Psychological Diagnosis (ie. Depression; Anxiety; PTSD)

  • Retirement

Typical responses associated with Grief:

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Every loss is unique as each child is unique. A change in behavior is a common response to grief and loss, which may include the following symptoms: 

  • Afraid to try new things

  • Drug or alcohol misuse, abuse, or addition

  • Aggressive behaviors, including hitting, kicking, or biting

  • Difficulty adjusting to social situations or new situations

  • Difficulty following directions or expectations

  • Disclosure of suicidal thoughts

  • Engaging in self harm practices like cutting or burning

  • Extreme weight loss or gain

  • Frequent or constant worry or anxiety

  • Noticeable or sudden loss of appetite

  • Physical complaints despite being checked by a physician

  • Recurring nightmares, night terrors, or difficulty sleeping

  • Refuse to attend school

  • Struggling to focus or complete tasks in school

  • Stomachaches

  • Social withdrawal

Misinformation on the topic of grief:

  • Be strong. Usually the Griever is asked to be strong for others. "You have to be strong for your [wife]" or "Be strong for your children."

  • Replace the loss. This is common with pet loss or the end of a romantic relationship. "On Tuesday we'll get you a new dog" or "There are plenty of fish in the sea. You just have to get out there and date again." Most likely there has been no action taken to grieve over the loss of the pet or relationship, just an attempt at not feelin the emotions attached to the loss.

  • Keep busy. "If I just keep busy then I won't have time to think about the loss." This one is sad because some people spend their whole lives with this mentality and never get a chance to grieve and complete what was unfinished with the particular loss.

How do I know if I or someone I know is incomplete with loss?

  • If you are unwilling to think about or talk about someone who has died, or express feelings about any other losses.

  • If fond memories turn painful, you may be experiencing unresolved Grief.

  • If you want to talk only about the positive aspects of the relationship, you may be incomplete.

  • Wanting to talk about only the negative aspects of the relationship, might be unresolved grief.

  • Unresolved Grief may be at the root of any fear associated with thoughts or feelings about a relationship.

 

 

The impact of unresolved grief in society:

  • 13 million Grievers annually due to death. There are 2.6 million deaths per year in the United States with an average of five Grievers per death. (According to US Census Bureau)

  • 2.5 million Grievers per year due to divorce. This does not include the children grieving this significant loss. (A compilation of US statistical agencies).

  • 15.6 Million Grievers per year due to a romantic breakup.

  • A study of 95,647 persons who lost a spouse found that the overall death rate for the surviving spouse doubled in the first week following the loss.

  • Unresolved grief is everywhere. Thousands of mental health professionals  have found that although their clients come with some other presenting issue, almost all of them have unresolved Grief as the underlying problem.

  • An incomplete past may doom the future. We find that many people alter their life choices after a series of unresolved losses. This is done to protect themselves from further heartbreak. Usually tis just translates to living a guarded life and a reluctance to participate fully in relationships or new endeavors.

THE APPROACH

THE HEALING APPROACH IS ROOTED IN THE FOLLOWING FOUNDATIONAL PRINCIPLES:

  • Loss is the common thread that connects each and every one of us

  • Ownership of our pain is key to growth and transformation

  • Being in relationship is fundamental to our healing and recovery

  • Meaningful action is necessary to reclaim our lives after loss

  • Freedom results from healing body, mind, spirit, and emotion 

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