Independence! Freedom! Was a firecracker, now content as a flame...the personal plight of "Independence."
Independence is a value that often gets a bad rap. There are triumphs and pitfalls when way of being tips the scale in any character trait or core value.
In my younger adulthood I became “independent” aka coming of age by most standards. Left the nest, pursued academic ambitions, secured gainful employment, yet void in relationships, emotional and spiritual wellness, and interdependence. Independence, in my then mindset, was non-reliance on anyone, making my own decisions, avoiding interactions that led to accountability, lack of respect for authority, and prioritizing me and only me.
Suffice it to say that mindset only propelled me into a cycle of poor decision making, instant gratification that wasn’t sustainable to my goals and aspirations, and a lens on life that was totally obscured. Although optimistic and positive on most days, my inner self was not experiencing the satisfaction and contentment desired in life.
It took years to redevelop my character and reshape my values and way of being. The growing pains and life lessons triggered an about face, just knew that was not how I desired to live and be; had to be another way.
I am grateful to some persistent and unconditional loving folks in my life. This girl (me :-) ) could have spiraled beyond human redemption, easily. Was at the tipping point, for real. I now know they were and continue to be on assignment to represent unconditional love, compassion, and a nurturing spirit representing Abba Father.
No regrets though, seeing everything as divine intervention. I was never independent, for God was with me and for me. My unknown solace, even in the darkest of times, even when the very breadth of life seemed to escape me, especially when I tested every hedge of protection and shield...yes, on many counts, my story should be different. Mercy! Grace! Undeserving, yet in abundance.
After many bumps and pits in my journey, I land on these key factors regarding “independence”:
- independence is freedom
(Autonomy to be your authentic self)
- independence is interdependence
(Healthy perspective and relationship with God and others)
- independence does require accountability
(Build an inner circle who will love you even in the darkest and ugliest of days and seasons - people that are for you)
- independence can mask as non-reliance
(Family and community support strengthens values and motivates)
- independence is leveraging
(Maximize the opportunity of strategizing and implementing goals and living purposefully)
- independence is positive
(Prioritizing with a self-care regiment and social stimuli breeds growth and greater potential)
- independence is balance
(Identifying areas of life and spheres that fuel desire to think, create, and live without constraint)
Have you experienced a day, days, or a season of life when the scales of independence were not balanced? How were you able to redirect yourself?
My story is unique to me. I’m exploding with possibility, shining brighter, and soaring to new heights!
Your story is unique to you, packed with learnings for all of our benefit.
Do share! Your comments about your triumphs and pitfalls in redefining an independent mindset and living or how interdependence has fueled
are welcome!